Darrell Boland submitted this idea.
So, this is what would happen.
Richard would be irrate, which is rare. I'm like, "you need to do hip hopercise. It's like Sweating to the oldies, or Jazzercise, but modern music."
Richard doesn't like people telling him what to do. He did it himself. He lostall the weight. He did it how he wants to do it. So he thinks i should shut up.
Richard simmons slaps Nick in the face.
I grab him by his fro (much like moe would to Larry in the three stooges). And do some jazz steps. But these jazz steps include my knee in his face. Then I tag out. Renegade tags in.
Renegade pushes Richard Simmons to the ground and yells, "BITE THE CURB". Richard has no choice. He does what he is told. Rengade then does tha stanky leg on Richard Simmons head. He isn't really hurt though cause Renegade doesn't weigh much. Upon seeing the beauty of tha stanky leg Richard decides to release...drum roll please.
da
dada
dadada
dadadada
dadadadada
SWEATIN WIT MY HOMIES
A new workout video featuring modern music, hip hop moves, and Richard Simmons.
Richard realized that he better do it someone elses way. My way. I scared him so bad with his own moves, that he knows to do things my way. Unless he wants a curb stomp.
And that is how it would happen.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Nick Versus Swarm o' Killer Bees
Brad Filla submitted this idea.
So, this is what would happen.
I would be on my yearly treck to South America. Once a year I sneak in illegally to smuggle drugs OUT of the USA and to go Rambo on drug smuggling guerilla groups. This particular year some tourist in a big foot would get stuck on a giant fallen log that covers the path they were driving on. Mr. Johnson, the drivers of the big foot, tries to get help. He and his family are being attacked by the Killer Bees he disturbed. But as he jumps from the big foot, the bees attack his face! "Ahh", he screams. Not out of fear...out of pain and frustration. The jump had been too far for Mr. Johnson. The long fall had broken his ankle. He now writhes on the jungle floor in agony. Screaming for help. Screaming almost as loud as his wife and kids. The bees attack in larger numbers now.
Then, it happens.
Nick shows up.
I first grab the log the bee hive is in and throw it. It dissappears in the air because I throw it so far. Now to deal with other bees.
The Screaming gets on my nerves, so I grab handfulls of bees out of the air. I then stuff the bees into the family's mouths. Now that the bees are contained in a small area and the annoying screaming has stopped, I go to work. I start punching the family's cheeks, crushing the bees by the hundreds.
The rest of the bees I have some fun with. I grab the Renegade, who stays really rigid and stiff, and swing him like a wiffle ball bat. One by one a demolish the remaining bees. All in a days work.
Four miles away, the log housing the bee hive finally lands....right in the center of a drug smugglers hideout. All h*** breaks loose. They kill eachother. I win, and only at the expense of one touristing family.
That's how it would happen.
So, this is what would happen.
I would be on my yearly treck to South America. Once a year I sneak in illegally to smuggle drugs OUT of the USA and to go Rambo on drug smuggling guerilla groups. This particular year some tourist in a big foot would get stuck on a giant fallen log that covers the path they were driving on. Mr. Johnson, the drivers of the big foot, tries to get help. He and his family are being attacked by the Killer Bees he disturbed. But as he jumps from the big foot, the bees attack his face! "Ahh", he screams. Not out of fear...out of pain and frustration. The jump had been too far for Mr. Johnson. The long fall had broken his ankle. He now writhes on the jungle floor in agony. Screaming for help. Screaming almost as loud as his wife and kids. The bees attack in larger numbers now.
Then, it happens.
Nick shows up.
I first grab the log the bee hive is in and throw it. It dissappears in the air because I throw it so far. Now to deal with other bees.
The Screaming gets on my nerves, so I grab handfulls of bees out of the air. I then stuff the bees into the family's mouths. Now that the bees are contained in a small area and the annoying screaming has stopped, I go to work. I start punching the family's cheeks, crushing the bees by the hundreds.
The rest of the bees I have some fun with. I grab the Renegade, who stays really rigid and stiff, and swing him like a wiffle ball bat. One by one a demolish the remaining bees. All in a days work.
Four miles away, the log housing the bee hive finally lands....right in the center of a drug smugglers hideout. All h*** breaks loose. They kill eachother. I win, and only at the expense of one touristing family.
That's how it would happen.
How Nick Versus Works
This first post is to help the reader understand and become familiar with how Nick Versus works.
Nick Versus is a blog dedicated to telling detailled stories of hypothetical fights. All fights include myself, Nick, and one to infinity opponents. Occasionally I will team up with others, most often Joey "The Renegade" Tucker. Not only is he a good fighter, but he can be used as a variety of objects. I won't give any examples now, but rest assured that The Renegade will come in handy. I have listed below a couple character descriptions and rules that Nick Versus follows.
Descriptions of the main characters:
Nick is an incredibly talented and immensly strong fighter. His wit and fighting prowess are matched by none. He is shorter, but what he lacks in height he makes up in sex appeal.
The Renegade is tall and very thin. He has gotten stronger in the past year, but relax, his status as a "twig" is not even close to being changed. The Renegade is always smiles. It doesn't matter if he is getting punched in the face or used as a shovel. He always smiles. Renegade has street credit. He always has. He always will.
RULES:
1. You give Nick Versus an idea for a Nick Versus. I make it a reality. One a day in the order they come in.
2. God, Jesus, The Trinity, Jawee... We don't fight. I love them. They love me. There is no reason to fight, so it doesn't happen.
3. I can fight anything else, including objects and ideas. I have been known as the "Tornado Tangler" because I used to wrestle many a tornado to the ground.
4. Nick never loses or dies.
5. The Renegade might lose, but he never dies.
6. Six.
7. I write the blog. I don't care how you think it might end up. This is how it ends up. Period.
8. I can break any of these rules if I want. I don't want.
Have fun reading,
Nick
Nick Versus is a blog dedicated to telling detailled stories of hypothetical fights. All fights include myself, Nick, and one to infinity opponents. Occasionally I will team up with others, most often Joey "The Renegade" Tucker. Not only is he a good fighter, but he can be used as a variety of objects. I won't give any examples now, but rest assured that The Renegade will come in handy. I have listed below a couple character descriptions and rules that Nick Versus follows.
Descriptions of the main characters:
Nick is an incredibly talented and immensly strong fighter. His wit and fighting prowess are matched by none. He is shorter, but what he lacks in height he makes up in sex appeal.
The Renegade is tall and very thin. He has gotten stronger in the past year, but relax, his status as a "twig" is not even close to being changed. The Renegade is always smiles. It doesn't matter if he is getting punched in the face or used as a shovel. He always smiles. Renegade has street credit. He always has. He always will.
RULES:
1. You give Nick Versus an idea for a Nick Versus. I make it a reality. One a day in the order they come in.
2. God, Jesus, The Trinity, Jawee... We don't fight. I love them. They love me. There is no reason to fight, so it doesn't happen.
3. I can fight anything else, including objects and ideas. I have been known as the "Tornado Tangler" because I used to wrestle many a tornado to the ground.
4. Nick never loses or dies.
5. The Renegade might lose, but he never dies.
6. Six.
7. I write the blog. I don't care how you think it might end up. This is how it ends up. Period.
8. I can break any of these rules if I want. I don't want.
Have fun reading,
Nick
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